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14 August 2009

A good excuse, I promise!

Dear readers,

I apologize for being so delinquent on my posts! I have, however, a good reason. I've been working on my new book! The query for the trilogy is going well. I did another draft (this makes number four) and I'm letting it rest before I try re-reading it and seeing what I can alter and perfect this go around. I'm feeling much better about it than I was and I'm confident I should have a submission worthy query within the next week or so!

If you're curious about this trilogy, I'll give you the first lines of my query letter. Let me know what you think, what works, what doesn't. Be honest; constructive criticism is what helps me better my craft :)

Seventeen year old Devon Elliott has spent most of her life trying to pretend she wasn't different. Her belief in stories other dismiss as myth, the strange scars from a childhood accident she doesn't remember, the teasing, the nasty rumors instigated by her hateful sister, has to be some great, cosmic mistake. Her job at the bookstore in her hometown of Savannah, Georgia is boring but safe, which pretty much is the summation of her existence. That is, until she finds a necklace on the beach one afternoon. Until the necklace begins to conjure up dreams so real she wakes up with mud-caked feet from running down a long, dark corridor from an unseen monster lurking in the shadows. Until the necklace refuses to come off.

The Other Side of Dreams is the first book in my trilogy (and yes, all three books are completed). It's a young adult fantasy steeped in Greek mythology. I grew up on the myths and stories of other lands and I found it fitting I should dedicate my first foray into fantasy to the myths that drew me in, made me fall in love with story. It's a new presentation of the ancient legend of Atlantis. I'm very excited about this story! However, as you all know, that darn query letter looms above, making my seven years of hard work fizzle. Why is it so hard to write a one page query when I can sit and write 100 in a novel in a day!

Let me know what you think! Does this interest you? Are you compelled to read more? Like I said, be honest (but kind :) . It's scary putting my heart and soul out there, as you all know, but I'm willing to take a flogging if it will mean getting my query spit-spot and in the right agent's hands!

When I sat down to write this post, I had no intention of putting my query letter out there for review. But heck, it's Friday! Why not take a little risk. We were created for risk. This is a step of faith for me. I tend to be a little on the worrisome side, especially when it comes to what others think of me (seems to be a trait amongst writers).

Fly little query letter, try out your wings! Gather up your criticisms, your praises (if there be any). Bring them back to me and we shall weave them together to make a garment worthy of the story you are trying to sell.

Happy weekend everyone! And a big, huge thanks in advance to you who offer up you words of wisdom.

Jen

3 comments:

Ratty said...

I'm not sure if I'm good at giving constructive criticism. It looks like the kind of story I'd like to read. Fantasy is my favorite. What hooked me even more than this part of the query letter though, or maybe in addition to, was the mention of Greek myth and Atlantis. It might have been thoughts of these that made me love reading in the first place.

Weronika said...

Jen, I really like the first paragraph of your query -- you have an obviously very good command of language, etc.

I had some issues with this:
"That is, until she finds a necklace on the beach one afternoon. Until the necklace begins to conjure up dreams so real she wakes up with mud-caked feet from running down a long, dark corridor from an unseen monster lurking in the shadows. Until the necklace refuses to come off."

This needs to be clarified. It's too vague for me. You have to make sure to specify what kind of CHOICES your MC has to make. Where does this lead her?

:) Hope you're having a great weekend!

Glynis said...

Hi Jen
I noted a possible little, teeny typo...Her belief in stories other dismiss as ...do you mean otherS?

I will admit the Until sentences threw me a little and I had to read them twice. I then realised they were follow ons from the first Until.
I have never critiqued before, but here goes and I hope you stay my blogging friend LOL This is my humble offering...
Her life changes one afternoon, it coincided with finding a necklace on the beach. From the moment she took it home and put it on,it appeared to conjure up dreams so real, so vivid. On one occasion she wakes up with mud-caked feet. She remembers running down a long dark corridor from an unseen monster lurking in the shadows. The other mystery she had to solve, was how to remove the necklace, for some reason all attempts to remove it had failed, the necklace simply refused to come off.
I love the storyline. Greek myth and Atlantis are fascinating subjects to me, so I await for your book. :)